Body Shot Saturday
by Quarter Past Wonderful
Summary: Kurt's concern that he's too boring - or too bad in bed - leads him and Blaine to a night out in Scandals, and to unexpected consequences. Klaine. Contains  lots of  drinking and some fluffiness.


**A/N:** This one shot is for my lovely friend Mari, who is unhealthily obsessed with Klaine and also sometimes body shots. Hope you like it! :D CONTAINS SPOILERS UP TO 3.9, "Extraordinary Merry Christmas", you have been warned.

I like Glee, but since I'm not _that _into it, there's probably a good chance that I got some of the characterizations or story arcs wrong… so forgive me. It's been a while since I watched some of the old Glee episodes, and it's not really my fanfiction forte :) It's also a bit more risqué then I usually write, but really compared to some of the Klaine stuff out there it's not that bad haha. And if you were wondering, I listened to Fun's We Are Young while writing this, because it sorta vaguely matches the mood. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"I'm worried about Santana," said Kurt. He was lounging on the chair next to his vanity, idly checking his (already perfect) hair in the mirror. When there was no response, he swung around and looked at Blaine, one eyebrow raised. "Blaine? I'm worried about Santana… her Grandmother's disapproval hit her pretty hard. Maybe we should talk… are you listening to me?"<p>

Blaine looked up from his phone, his eyes softening when he saw his boyfriend. "Sorry, sorry. Sebastian was just texting me. He says the Warblers have something they want to show me."

Kurt scowled. "I'll bet he has something he wants to show you," he muttered. Before Blaine could respond, Burt's feet appeared on the stairs, followed quickly by his face. "Can I get you boys anything? Water, Blaine? Crackers?"

"Dad, we don't have any crackers," Kurt said, annoyed. "And you asked us the same thing like, ten minutes ago. We're fine!"

"Thanks Mr. Hummel," Blaine added pleasantly. Burt surveyed them for a moment, then shrugged good-naturedly and went back upstairs, leaving the door open. Kurt rolled his eyes after his father left, letting out a sigh, but Blaine started laughing. Kurt had to smile – he loved hearing Blaine's laugh – before asking, "What?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Isn't what obvious?"

"Your dad keeps checking in on us to make sure we're not… _consummating our love," _Blaine stage-whispered.

Kurt snorted at this ridiculous statement. "That's ridiculous! Of course he's not."

Blaine just smirked. "Well, true, it's not like he has anything to worry about."

Immediately Kurt stiffened, feeling awkward. "Blaine…"

"Sorry – I didn't mean…"

But Kurt knew exactly what he meant. They had slept together for the first time after the debut performance of _West Side Story_, but since then nothing else had happened. Kurt wasn't really sure why. It wasn't like the sex hadn't been amazing and perfect, or that he hadn't enjoyed it, or that they hadn't had other chances to try again. To be honest, Kurt had no idea what was wrong. He wanted to try it again – and he assumed Blaine did too – so why hadn't they? Kurt was afraid that he had done something wrong, or that he had been really bad in bed, but he wasn't sure how to bring it up.

"We should… maybe we could try…"

Before Kurt could get out what he was trying to say, Blaine's phone buzzed again, loudly and obnoxiously. Distracted, Blaine looked down at his phone, a half-smile sliding onto his face as he read its contents. Kurt bit his lip, suddenly worried.

"What were you saying, Kurt?" Blaine asked absentmindedly.

"Nothing. Nevermind."

"Okay." There was a long silence, punctuated by the tapping of Blaine's phone as he responded to the text. Then he snapped his phone shut and looked up again.

"Sebastian wants to meet up so some of the Warblers can show me their surprise."

Kurt didn't say anything, but Blaine was too busy grabbing his stuff together to notice. "Do you mind? You can come too, if you want."

"No, I'm okay. You go."

Blaine smiled again, and for a second Kurt's fears were assuaged as he leaned forward to kiss his boyfriend. "Bye."

"Bye."

And then Kurt was alone in his bedroom, left to over-analyze everything. Was Blaine cheating on him with Sebastian? It wasn't possible, was it? But why else would they not try sleeping together again? Unless… was he really that bad in bed? It hadn't seemed like it at the time… but then again…

Kurt moaned and threw himself down onto his bed. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

><p>The next day Kurt marched up to Blaine's locker, and announced, "We're going to Scandals."<p>

This hadn't been his original plan. Initially he had decided to take Blaine to BreadstiX for a romantic evening where they could get everything out in the open, followed hopefully by a sleepover.

But Santana had changed his mind. He had seen her earlier that morning, moodily harassing some of the freshman in the hallway, and had approached her to talk to about situation Abeula. She had turned the conversation around pretty fast, though; it was clear she had no interest in talking about that particular subject.

"Stay away from me, pretty-boy. Keep you and your poodle-hair out of my biznez."

"Okay, sorry for trying to help," he had huffed, annoyed. He didn't have poodle-hair.

"What's got your panties in a twist, Teen Gay?" Despite herself, Santana was interested. She loved gossip, and even though she'd never admit it, she thought Kurt and Blaine were a cute couple. "Did Blaine lose a bowtie or something?"

"No." And then suddenly Kurt found himself spilling everything to Santana. He knew she couldn't keep a secret, but he was in desperate need of some advice and perspective, and besides, Santana knew everything about sex.

"Hmmm," she said after he was done. "Okay, listen, Lady Lips. Don't go to BreadstiX. I love me my BreadstiX, but, like, if he's cheating on you, it's 'cause he's bored and wants something exciting to happen. And even if he's not cheating on you – and he's probably not, since he's the puff to your cheese – then doing something exciting will probably get you into his pants anyways. Problem solved."

But as she hip-swayed away, Kurt just felt more confused. Was he boring? Was that what was wrong? The last time they had done something outside of their comfort zone it had ended up with a drunken Blaine groping Kurt, but he couldn't think of what else to do. And besides, in the end even that had worked out.

So he decided a trip to Scandals was in order.

"Scandals?" said Blaine, his mouth quirking adorably. "Didn't you hate it there? Especially since last time ended with me… well…"

"It'll go better this time," Kurt assured him quickly. "I'll ask Finn to drive us there and back, so maybe we can both drink."

Both of Blaine's eyebrows shot up. "Hang on, where is this coming from? You never drink."

"I sometimes do," retorted Kurt lamely. "I just thought we could do something fun together."

"Okay. If you want to."

"I do."

"Okay." Blaine grinned. "I still have my fake ID. We missed Drag Queen Wednesday this week, but maybe if we're lucky they have a Friday theme."

"If we're lucky," echoed Kurt.

As they later found out, after Finn, who was reluctant to leave them alone but even more reluctant to stay, dropped them off, Scandals did have a Friday theme.

"Enjoy," deadpanned the bored, thickly-bearded bouncer in a monotone. "It's Twink Friday."

"That's perfect for us!" said Blaine, laughing as they walked into the bar. Kurt repressed a sigh as he remembered just how awful and tacky this place was – it had crappy music blaring loudly from the speakers, it was badly lit everywhere that there weren't neon lights strung up, and there were too many pool tables shoved together everywhere for it to be comfortable. Still, none of it seemed to bother the other tipsy drinkers in the bar.

"I don't see David," said Kurt, a little disappointed, as they sat down at the bar.

Blaine ordered two beers and then settled down next to Kurt. "I guess Twink Friday isn't really Karofsky's thing."

It was nice, sitting there with Blaine, Kurt later decided. Only half of his bottle was gone, but he was starting to feel a pleasant buzz. Blaine had finished his first beer already, and now had a permanent grin plastered on his face and had been talking about the possibility of karaoke for the past five minutes. Kurt was laughing much louder than he normally did in public, and kept draping himself over Blaine with more PDA than he usually allowed himself.

Then, just as Kurt was congratulating himself both on finishing his entire beer, despite the displeasing taste, and on a well executed plan, Sebastian walked in. Kurt froze, trying to arrange his features pleasantly but just feeling pissed. Blaine, on the other hand, let out a "Heeeeeyy!" and jumped forward to hug Sebastian, which made Kurt's heart jerk in a funny way that he'd never known possible.

"I didn't know you guys were coming!" said Sebastian, looking pleased with himself and giving Kurt a self-satisfied look, which, thought Kurt sourly, made him look like a fuzzy cat.

"Yeah," said Kurt, not able to mask his annoyance.

"Yeah!" added Blaine.

"Well, I always come by on Twink Friday. And besides…" Sebastian trailed off mysteriously. "If you guys wait, in an hour or so it'll be Body Shot Saturday."

This made Blaine roar with laughter and Kurt roll his eyes.

"Well, that's too bad, because we have to leave soon." Kurt snapped, his voice a little shrill.

Blaine frowned, turning to look at his boyfriend. "But Kurt," he whined, "I thought you wanted to do something fun together?"

Kurt pursed his lips. This was ridiculous. He had forgotten how much he disliked drunk Blaine. Maybe this had been a terrible idea. But at the same time, going home after one beer was hardly being spontaneous – and then he'd be back where he started. He thought about what Santana would do, and then said reluctantly, "I mean, I don't think I'm drunk enough yet to do body shots."

Blaine grinned and threw his arms around Kurt, giving him a sloppy kiss, his breath reeking of alcohol. But Kurt didn't really mind – after all, he was sort of drunk too – so he allowed the kiss, and even kissed Blaine back until Sebastian let out an awkward cough. Now he was the one who looked annoyed.

"Right, well, let me buy you guys another round."

By the time Sebastian had finished his first beer, Kurt was only a quarter through his next one, and Blaine had downed about half of his. Still, they were both feeling the booze, so all three boys decided to get up and dance. What happened next was sort of a blur for Kurt. He could remember a heavy, addicting beat resonating through him, and dancing without even caring what he looked like. He remembered staring at Blaine, and his seductive dancing, and how hot it was that the two of them maintained eye contact while on the dance floor.

And then the next thing he remembered was more beer and later the crowd cheering, "Body shots! Body shots!" at what must have been around midnight and suddenly he was standing on a table with Blaine, and they were surrounded by massive crowd, and someone shoved a shot glass into his hands. Then Shots, by LMFAO, was playing and Blaine was lying on the table with his shirt off. Had he taken Blaine's shirt off? He couldn't remember.

_Shots shots shots shots shots shots  
>Shots shots shots shots shots<br>Shots shots shots shots shots  
>Everybody!<em>

He could remember looking into Blaine's eyes, who had slurred, "Are you sure?" and had looked – confused? Concerned? Excited?

Kurt had stolen a hazy glance at Sebastian, who looked vaguely annoyed and surly, and then had nodded woozily, feeling triumphant. "Yeah."

Then Kurt had leaned down and licked the salt off of Blaine's chest, shivering with sudden desire from the way the salt and Blaine's taste and sweat had all mingled together deliciously. He had sat up and tossed the shot back, reeling from the way the tequila burned its way down his throat.

Then – he had been practically purring, he remembered later with embarrassment – he had slithered his way back to Blaine, licking more of the sweat from his chest, finishing by biting the tangy lime from Blaine's lips, and then kissing him fiercely with the taste of lime and alcohol still on his lips.

He remembered the crowd going crazy, and then them being pushed off the table back to the floor, and then the next couple was doing a body shot.

Somehow they managed to stumble back to their stools at the bar. Kurt didn't really remember what happened afterwards, but he thought it involved a massive amount of puking in the parking lot before being picked up by Finn, and he was happily sure there was a definite lack of Sebastian.

When Kurt woke up in the morning, though, he was feeling anything but pleased. His head ached and his throat felt parched, and the light from the windows felt like they were burning off his eyes. Then Kurt realized that those windows weren't his – they were Blaine's.

He was in Blaine's bed.

Panic overwhelmed him. Had they had sex last night? Why hadn't Finn taken him home? Was Blaine completely mortified? Oh, god, what the hell had happened? How could it have gotten so out of control? Had he really done a _body shot_ on Blaine?

Just then the door opened and Blaine appeared, his smiling face doing much to alleviate Kurt's panic.

"Hey," Kurt managed.

"Morning, sunshine," said Blaine, and, bless him, he had brought breakfast, which included water and aspirin.

There was a little bit of an awkward silence as Kurt gulped down the aspirin and some of the water, and then he couldn't take it any longer. "Did we… last night… did we, um, consummate our love?"

"Don't worry, we didn't have sex," said Blaine softly. "Finn just thought your Dad would flip if he saw how drunk you were, so he brought you here. Your Dad thinks you're at Mercedes's house."

Kurt let out a sigh of relief. Even though his plan had been to sleep with Blaine, he knew now he would have felt horrible if they had had sex while both so drunk.

"I don't know what to say, Blaine, except that I'm so sorry. I feel like an idiot."

"Why? I mean, okay, maybe throwing up in the parking lot wasn't your finest hour, but that body shot was incredibly hot."

Kurt moaned and brought the covers up to hide his face, his cheeks flushing red.

"No, really! Kurt," Blaine let out an affectionate little sigh as he pulled the covers from Kurt. "I don't know _why_ you've suddenly found an affinity for alcohol, but don't be embarrassed."

"I just…" Kurt sighed, looking away. His whole plan had fallen apart. Yes, it had been interesting getting drunk with Blaine, but it hadn't led to sex – nor would he have wanted it to. Drunken sex wouldn't have fixed anything, and he felt stupid for listening to Santana. He decided to just tell Blaine the truth. "I thought you thought I was boring. Or unsexy. Or bad in bed. I don't know… but after that… that _amazing_ night that we spent together, we haven't done anything since… and I just, I wasn't sure why, so I thought if I did something exciting, maybe you'd want to try again. Or forget about Sebastian. It was stupid."

"No, Kurt, it wasn't. Listen. First of all, Sebastian means nothing to me. How could he, compared to you? And besides, he has a boyfriend now. That's what he's been texting me about. And as for everything else…" Blaine trailed off, grabbing Kurt's hand and looking directly at him. "I don't think you're boring. Or unsexy. You're perfect. And you're _definitely_ not bad in bed." Blaine chuckled, looking suddenly bashful. "Call me old-fashioned, but I didn't want you to think that I just wanted to ravish you all the time. I want to respect you. We're a couple, we're not just having an affair."

Kurt's heart swooped down to his knees and back, and he had to swallow before he could manage to say anything. "I…"

Blaine leaned forward and kissed him softly, pushing him back towards the pillow. "But you should know that you are _the_ sexiest boy in all of Ohio. And if a little more ravishing is in order, then I certainly won't be the one to complain…"

Blaine moved his attention to Kurt's ear, which elicited all sorts of delicious feelings throughout Kurt's body.

"Blaine," he gasped, which made him smile – Kurt could tell he was smiling, could feel the curve of his lips as he kissed his skin. "Blaine, look at me."

When his boyfriend had pulled back to face him, Kurt reached out a hand to run his fingers over the perfect curve of Blaine's chin. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too."

"And I really am sorry. I promise, no more stupid second-guessing. You deserve more faith than that."

"So, no more Scandals?"

"No more Scandals."

"I was afraid you'd say that," said Blaine, a remorseful smile twisting its way onto his face. "So, since it's my turn, I guess we'll just have to make do."

"Make do with what – " Kurt was cut off as Blaine held up a finger to his mouth. Kurt smirked, and nipped Blaine, but Blaine just winked and turned his attention to the breakfast tray next to them.

"Here," Blaine said, grabbing a small piece of cantaloupe from the plate and placing it gently between Kurt's lips. Before Kurt could refuse, the sweet taste of cantaloupe was blocking his ability to speak.

He watched with a mixture of amusement and apprehension as Blaine grabbed a bowl of sugar and leaned forward to kiss the smooth skin between Kurt's neck and collarbone. Then he lightly sprinkled some of the sugar on Kurt's neck where he had kissed him, and grabbed a glass of orange juice.

Raising the glass to Kurt in a toast, with his eyebrows raised seductively in a way that sent a thrill through Kurt, Blaine leaned forward and slowly lapped up the sugar from Kurt's neck before shooting back a sip of the orange juice. Grimacing slightly at the odd taste, he then pushed forward to steal the cantaloupe from Kurt's mouth.

Kurt panted, suddenly needing to be closer to Blaine, to feel more of his skin. "Body shots," he managed to whisper, even though his mouth was busy, "_are_ incredibly hot."

"I'll say," said Blaine, grinning.

"And maybe – " he broke off to moan as Blaine started to kiss his ear again in the most spectacular way, " – maybe Body Shot Saturdays aren't so bad."

And then they were far too busy to talk, as instead, they fell in love all over again.


End file.
